And I'm like a cymbal-banging-monkey-toy with a broken off power switch when I'm pissed off.

I need one of these as my doppelgänger/anger translator.

And I'm like a premature pear.

The kind that's yields the tiniest bit under my thumb, that is just adjacent of appropriately ripe.  I weigh whether to bite.  Is it be too firm to be enjoyed?

I smell it, I try to go on instinct.

I wish I had a better understanding of fruit.

 I wish I could tell the exact condition under that thin skin.

In reality, I just got a solid 9 hours of sleep for the first time in a month, and upon waking I realized that I totally need at least 9 more, tout suite.

*Post best to be read in the tone of SNL skit "Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey" 

And I'm like a gelatinous blob. With a gelatinous blog.

And I'm like a freaking skippy little peanut.

...whenever I listen to LCD Soundsystem loud and no one is hollering my name.

8:36, Thursday

And I'm like a freshly peeled onion, which is more of the same layer after layer, but with each uncovering a stronger assault on sensitive pores.  Its a force that you can't really avoid, and your only defense is to walk away.

AND I'M LIKE A MACHETE CLUTCHING A CHAINSAW.

and in reality I'm just mourning the demise of my really nice rug at the hands of a stranger's boobery and how people always seem to take advantage of me and how I will never win the lottery.  Unless its the lottery of the Litany of Small Downers With a Side of No Breaks. I've got an annuity from that one.

I'm like equal thirds of a mess of runny eggs, the gauntlet at the car wash and a sure-footed deer.  Anyone want to try for a visual of that?

What are you equal thirds of right this very second?